You’ve done the hard part. You’ve started a conversation with someone on an online dating app or website, you planned a meet-up, and you’ve had a successful first date. What’s next? Another hard part (in case you haven’t caught on…
Questions to Ask Yourself When “Every” Match Isn’t Working Out
People like to be in control — at their jobs, of their decisions, and in pretty much every area of life — but dating can sometimes feel like you’re on a wild rollercoaster that you can’t get off. And like most
5 Photos NOT to Post in Your Online Dating Profiles
What you write in your online dating profile requires careful thought — after all, it’s giving the reader (a potential match) the first impression of who you are and what you’re all about. But photos require an equal amount of attention,
The Two Components to Getting Over Someone
I was on the phone earlier today with a client who, unfortunately, is fresh out of a relationship and going through a breakup. She asked me, in no uncertain terms, “Can I speed up the healing process? How can I
How to Get Past Ghosting
I’m going to come right out and say it: ghosting hurts! If you’ve ever been ghosted—that heart-sinking feeling when someone you were connecting with or dating suddenly disappears without a trace—you’re not alone. Far from it. Ghosting can be hurtful
“I Can’t” Means “I Can’t” & “I Won’t” Means “I Won’t”
A client recently reached out to me to ask for advice on a dating situation. (This is not news… it’s my job!) After a “great” first date, the man told my client that he’d be interested in connecting again but noted that he was looking for “something casual” because he was recently divorced. She said that despite looking for a long-term relationship, she thought she was okay with something casual since she liked this guy and had other family-related responsibilities to take care of at the time.
Is Summer a Good Season for Dating? The Pros and Cons of Warm Weather Wooing
If you Google “best time to start a dating profile,” you’ll find no shortage of answers. Some are based on personal experiences and some are based on research or polls, but there is a wide range of answers. My thoughts? There are pros and cons to every season when it comes to dating — and summer is no exception.
Breaking Up Is Hard to Do
I got this question the other day:
“What’s your advice on getting back into the dating pool after a breakup? Is there a certain amount of time one should wait? Or, is it a case of getting back on the horse right after falling off? My heart was broken recently… and my friends are telling me to get back out there and date. My walls have been built back up again and I don’t know if I can date anyone right now. What would you recommend?”
How to Explain a Bad Date, With Help from Psychology
What went wrong on your last date? The way you answer could change everything about how you approach your next one.
An Outdated Profile May Make you Lose Out on a Date
Many years ago, I had a client who was on an online dating site, and someone she was interested in had a really cute picture of himself with a dog. So, when she reached out to him, she said, “What a cute pup! What’s his/her name?” The guy replied and, rather than being flattered that my client reached out, he instead accused her of stalking him: “How did you know I had a dog? Did you look me up? What else do you know about you?” She promptly wrote, “Look at your fourth picture.” End scene.
What Not to Write in Your Dating Profile: Turning Negative Statements into Positive Outlooks
As a dating coach, I’ve read a lot of online dating profiles… which also means that I’ve read a lot of bad dating profiles. There are many things that can turn me (and my clients) off to a person’s bio — from bad grammar to lack of photos to rants about politics — but perhaps the worst perpetrator is general negativity.
All People Are Different People
In anticipation of Season 3 of Ted Lasso (which has not disappointed as of yet!), I decided to re-watch the first two seasons. And, while the show is an obvious comedy, there are some nuggets of wisdom in there that I certainly couldn’t have written as well as the writers did, even if I tried. And one of these nuggets is, “All people are different people.”
Words of Wisdom for Dating in 2022
Words of wisdom for dating in 2022
You’re Not “Still Single”
December 26, 2021 A client sent me a text recently asking, “Can I ask you? Why am I still single? In your opinion? Maybe I’m not putting enough effort in? I want love to find me! Arghhh!” I actually get
“I Just Didn’t Feel the Connection”
Why is it that something that should seem so easy – telling someone you’re not interested – is so hard for many people? I get it – no one wants to hurt anyone’s feelings. So, I’m going to share a
Texting is the Death of the First Date
January 15, 2020 I did something recently that I don’t usually do—I tried to prove myself wrong. As a dating coach, the advice I give is what I know to work. Even if it works 90% of the time, I’ll
Have you committed a dating sin?
October 11, 2016 If you’re Jewish, like I am, then you know that the most sacred time of the year, the High Holidays, is upon us. (It’s a bit later than usual this year because of the extra month added
A Date in the Hand…
April 27, 2016 Client 1 (Alicia): “I joined Match.com two weeks ago, and only creeps and weirdos have emailed me!” Erika: “That’s annoying! But you’re a great catch, so of course people are emailing you.” Alicia: “Yeah, but they’re not
What’s the Whole Point of Dating?
June 18, 2015 Not that I take Urban Dictionary as gospel (I’d have some problems if I did!), but when it comes to the definition of “dating,” the usually off-color site does a surprisingly good job of defining the word.
Let’s Go Shopping… For a Date?
December 15, 2014 I mentioned once that I felt a bit like Carrie Bradshaw when I sat down to write my first ever dating column many years ago. Just as Carrie would have shopped for clothes on Sex and the
Obstacles to the First Date
July 2, 2013 We all know what an obstacle is. According to our good friends Merriam and Webster, an obstacle is, “something that impedes progress or achievement.” Now, what if that “something” is you? In dating, there are so
A Game of Pick-Up Check
May 21, 2012 You know the scenario well: The check comes. No one moves. You look at each other. You smile. The check sits there. This, my friends, is what we call a little game of “pick-up check.” The
To Friend or Not to Friend? That is the Question.
To Friend or Not to Friend? That is the Question. June 30, 2011 Now that Facebook has basically taken over the world, it’s hard to know the appropriate “friending” etiquette as it relates to the dating scene. I get
All Men Go Bald… And Have Earwax
All Men Go Bald… And Have Earwax May 4, 2011 The title of this blog is actually directly from a voicemail I got from my dad a few years ago when he thought I was being too picky about
The Rule of Two
The Rule of Two March 30, 2011 I have been on some bad dates, some less “bad” than others, of course. Back in 2005, I went on a first date to a Mexican restaurant in D.C. for dinner. (To