September 14th, 2015
Depending on how long you’ve been on an online dating site, you can 
probably relate to that déjà-vu feeling you get when it feels like you’re reading the same profile over and over again. Somehow, everyone is apparently wearing both little black dresses and flip flops, taking trips to Machu Picchu (did I miss a Groupon or something?), or simply “relaxing with Netflix and a glass of wine.” Considering that it’s impossible for any of us to be exact physical replicas, why is it that every profile seems to use the same clichés as the last one? Let’s examine 10 Phrases You Should Delete from Your Online Dating Profile:
- I’m just as comfortable in a fancy dress (or tux for you gentlemen) as I am in jeans and flip flops.
This line is an attempt to show that you’re flexible and multi-faceted. We get the message. Most of us have a varied wardrobe. Rather than discuss your clothing preferences, why don’t you talk about the things you like to do? We can learn a lot more about you if you mention that you prefer a football game over a visit to an art gallery, regardless of what you’re hypothetically wearing.
- I like to laugh and have fun.
My goodness… I hope you like to laugh and have fun! The point is that, unless you like to frown and mope around all day (which I also wouldn’t write), this line could be true for just about anyone.
- I can’t believe I’m actually on here.
This is a negative commentary on online dating. Others might interpret this as, “I can’t believe I’ve fallen this low. Only losers look for dates online, so I guess I’m a loser, too.” Online dating is a wonderful thing. Either embrace it or refrain from joining an online dating site until you can have a more positive attitude about it.
- I love traveling.
Again, there are few people who don’t love to travel. Instead, tell us more. Do you like to take active road trips across the United States, or do you prefer to lounge on the beach in Cancun? These details say a lot more about you than a generic statement about travel.
- On a typical Friday night, I’m just as happy going out on the town as I am curled up on the couch with wine and a movie.
My response to this is similar to the one for the fancy dress/jeans conundrum, with this added advice: Stop trying to attract everyone. While it may seem counterintuitive, I’m giving you explicit permission to turn some people off in your profile. Think about it—it’s more important to be the genuine you than the version you think people want to see, or the version that tries to attract every single person on the site. Just be yourself. That way, you know that when someone is interested, it’s because he or she likes what you have to say, not just the fact that you were trying to be inclusive.
- My family and friends are important to me.
Another shocker! There’s no need to spell this one out because people already assume that family and friends are important to you, not the contrary.
- My friends say that I’m… (insert a list of complimentary adjectives).
Of course your friends would say all of these great things about you—they’re already your friends! This could also be construed as a way of trying to appear humble, which can backfire in two ways: 1) it can make you appear insecure (do you not think these things about yourself?) or 2) it still sounds like you’re bragging.
Naturally, this brings me to an important point about “empty adjectives.” An empty adjective is a descriptor that can’t be proven until someone gets to know you. For example, I might say that I’m funny, but how would you confirm if that’s true? Maybe some people find me hilarious (usually the ones who love puns and wordplay), but others aren’t amused.
- I’m down-to-earth.
I would love to see a profile that says, “I’m kind of an airhead… but a sweet one.” This is very subjective, which again characterizes it as an empty adjective.
- I love life.
Just like #2, I hope you love life! Remember, just because you don’t use the line “I love life” in your profile, does not mean that you hate life instead. It simply gives you space to share the more interesting things that do make your life so great.
- I’m looking for a partner in crime.
Unless your name is Bonnie or Clyde, there’s no reason to include this overused cliché.
Now’s your chance: Take some time to review your profile, and if you find any of these overused, cliché phrases, it’s time to hit the backspace button, put on your creativity cap, and set yourself apart from the other online dating clones.
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Most, well many, people ARE airheads and have nothing to say. It is useful that they sound like who they are, it makes my job easier.
Regarding the matter of dating, it’s difficult to not think about little things literally. Whether over a separation or a senseless remark, it’s common to take certain things to heart. This is particularly valid in a relationship that includes profound emotions, and it’s even more genuine after dismissal. Do you think so?
Interesting comment. Would you mind explaining further?
They say men are from Mars women are from Venus, so basically they both can’t have the same school of thoughts with regards to love and relationships. Do you ever wonder what your man thinks or how he really feels about you? If so, then you should understand the way a man’s mind works and you will be able to read him like a book.
Words of advice about online dating:
1. Posting pictures on your profile is paramount. But unless the people who are viewing your profile are interested in photography, they are only interested in pictures of YOU. They are NOT interested in pictures of your family, pets, vacation, etc.(unless you’re in these pictures). So don’t post pictures you don’t appear in on your profile.
2. If you make a date and want to break it later, have the decency to call the person on the phone. Only cowards break a date by sending an email or a text message. Also, don’t act like a real jerk by either completely avoiding any contact with the person after you make a date….that is, not calling them, not answering their phone calls, and not returning them……., or waiting until they call you before you tell them you can’t keep the date. Again, have the decency to call them, and make the call when you know you’re not going to keep the date.
3. If someone sends you a message on an internet dating site, and you’re NOT interested, DON’T reply. Sending a reply will probably entice the person to keep sending you more messages. But if you do, don’t say something stupid like you’re already dating someone. It’s not believable….if that’s really your situation, then why are you on the dating site?
4. If the main picture on someone’s profile is appealing to you, and you’re thinking of contacting this person, have the common sense to look at ALL of their pictures, and anything else on their profile that may be important to you, BEFORE you decide to send them a message.
5. If you receive a call for the FIRST time from someone you’ve given your number to, and you can’t talk to them at that time, then YOU should return the call. DON’T tell them to call back. They took the initiative to make the call, and obviously didn’t know it was a bad time for you to speak, so YOU should have the decency to make the return call.
6. Don’t let your friends use your profile to browse through a dating site, especially if you’re a paid subscriber with full membership privileges. Sometimes the friends will contact other members on the site without your knowledge, the recipients will think it’s you, and when they find out it’s someone else, the outcome is not always friendly, …..OR the recipients may not be interested, but think you’re interested in them …because they think you’re the one who sent the message, … and maybe tell their friends about the message they think you sent them……OR your friends could do something that violates the dating site’s terms and conditions which could get you kicked off the site. Most of these dating sites offer a free membership, which may not allow communication with other members, but do allow viewing other member profiles. So when your friends ask you to use your membership to view profiles on a dating site that you belong to, tell them to sign up for their own free membership.
7. Post the CORRECT city and state where you live in your profile….not a place where you used to live, where you want to live, or where your friend lives. It sounds like basic common sense, but intentionally posting a city, state or country where a person doesn’t live does happen. If you’re contacting someone on a dating site, and you tell the person you live somewhere different than what you have posted on your profile, it’s a real turn off, especially if you live in another state or country.
In case I never answered, all true. Thanks for reading!
I would have never considered that I love life would be a bad thing to have on a dating profile. It does seem like a good thing to be aware of when you need to have a good profile. My brother has been considering doing online dating. So, it might be smart for him to have professional look over his profile to make sure he doesn’t have any of these lines on his profile.
Glad you enjoyed the article and found it useful! Happy to chat with your brother if he’d like to set up a consultation.
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